Terms & Conditions
By accessing or browsing this website — including the genealogy, heraldry, philosophical tracts, or casual blasphemies contained herein — you consent to the following:
- Acceptance of Madness:
By proceeding, you acknowledge that reality in Ballymagaleen operates according to the laws of irony, not physics. Ridendo Regimus Insaniam is both the family motto and a health warning.
- Intellectual Property:
All content belongs, body and soul, to Paddy2021 LLC (a Wyoming-registered fiction with very real lawyers). Nothing may be copied, translated, performed, adapted, or dreamt about without written permission or divine revelation, whichever arrives first.
- Liability:
Neither Lord Giles na Magaleen, his dogs, nor his various shell companies accept responsibility for emotional distress, ideological instability, or involuntary enlightenment arising from exposure to this material.
- Jurisdiction:
Disputes shall be adjudicated under the fluctuating common law of Ballymagaleen, with Sergeant Gombeeni presiding in an advisory capacity and the Holy Well of St Pierian available for witness oaths.
- Force Majeure:
Acts of God, poets, or government are deemed equivalent and equally unreliable.
By remaining on this site, you agree to hold all parties harmless, except perhaps yourself. Should you disagree, you are advised to close the tab quietly and repent in whiskey.
Privacy Policy
(Or, The Defence of Secrets Great and Small)
At Ballymagaleen.com, the privacy of our visitors is held in reverence, suspicion, and occasional disbelief. This policy sets out how Paddy2021 LLC (30 N Gould St, Sheridan, WY 82801, USA — a jurisdiction renowned for its leniency towards the imaginative) manages the information you may or may not have surrendered while wandering these pages.
1. What We Collect (Sometimes Unintentionally)
We may collect:
- Names, email addresses, and messages sent through forms (usually by people seeking absolution or clarification).
- Standard website analytics — numbers, times, clicks, and sighs — used solely to determine whether anyone is still reading.
- Cookies, which are not the edible kind and may be refused without consequence save mild existential isolation.
No information will ever be sold, bartered, leased, or whispered to third parties, except in the event of divine command, subpoena, or gossip in Dooley’s Pub.
2. How We Use It (or Don’t)
Any data you provide is used exclusively to:
- Respond to enquiries about genealogy, philosophy, or unpaid bar tabs.
- Improve the website, if that can be done without ruining its charm.
- Maintain cordial relations with the authorities (civil, ecclesiastical, or otherwise).
Under no circumstances will your information be used to send newsletters, promotional spam, or novenas.
3. Data Retention & Holy Forgetfulness
Information is kept only as long as memory allows. Once it has served its purpose — or annoyed the data controller — it will be deleted, misplaced, or ritually drowned in the Holy Well of St Pierian.
You may at any time request access, correction, or exorcism of your data by contacting giles@ballymagaleen.com
Replies may be delayed if the dogs are sleeping on the paperwork.
4. Security Measures
Your data is protected by the highest standards available in Ballymagaleen, including:
- Passwords of baroque complexity;
- The deterrent presence of Sergeant Gombeeni;
- And the ineffable confusion of our IT department.
While absolute security is impossible, we find plausible deniability to be nearly as comforting.
5. Jurisdiction & Sanity
All matters relating to privacy shall be governed by Irish hospitality, American legalism, and divine indifference. By using this site, you consent to the Laws of Ballymagaleen, which are unwritten, occasionally sung, and rarely enforced.
In summary: we guard your privacy as we guard our lineage — imperfectly, affectionately, and with a hint of madness.
Ridendo Regimus Insaniam — Through laughter, we govern madness.
