The Genealogy of Giles na Magaleen
“A man without ancestors is like a pub without credit — technically open, but
morally insolvent.”
What follows, therefore, is the Genealogia na Magadhlin, or Lineage of the House of na Magaleen, as reconstructed by Lord Giles from scraps of bardic verse, unreliable monastic scribbles, and the occasional pub napkin. It traces his family’s descent from An Magadha, the least celebrated (but most talkative) member of the Tuatha Dé Danann, through every subsequent mythic calamity up to the Civil War
I. The Divine Progenitor
An Magadha mac Danu — “An Fear a Rinne Magadh ar Dhia” (The Man Who Mocked God)
Youngest of the Tuatha Dé Danann, charged with recording their jokes rather than their deeds.
Patron of irony, double meaning, and all misplaced confidence.
Banished briefly for referring to Lugh of the Long Arm as Lugh of the Long Story, he returned to invent sarcasm and father the Clann Magadhlin, whose laughter has echoed ruinously through Irish history.
II. The Pre-Mylesian Epoch
Aodhán an Chraic — “Aodhán of the Crack” (or ‘of the Banter’)
Renowned for composing the first limerick in Old Irish; banished from Tara for reciting it during a funeral. Credited with inventing both satire and the hangover.
Brían na mBréag — “Brian of the Lies”
Aodhán’s son. Served as poet to the Fir Bolg but betrayed them for a better commission from the Tuatha Dé Danann. His Book of False Genealogies is believed to have inspired later Irish historiography.
Cú Dubh an Gháire — “The Black Hound of Laughter”
Half-wolf, half-wit; led a warband known as Fianna an Fhocail (“The Warriors of the Word”).
Appears in the Fenian Cycle, where he once challenged Fionn mac Cumhaill to a punning contest and lost consciousness in Round Four.
III. The Heroic Age: Companions of the Fianna
Tuathal an Chliste — “Tuathal the Cunning”
A counsellor to Fionn, he advised ambush by flattery and escape by song. His signature move was to compose a praise-poem so long that enemies either fell asleep or surrendered.
Énrí Mac Gáire — “Henry the Laugher”
Supposed to have invented the Fianna’s battle cry, “Tóg do ghloin agus buail ar ais é!” (“Raise your glass and hit back!”). He is also said to have devised the first Irish legal code penalising sobriety.
Déanach an Díthcéille — “The Last of the Sense-less”
A noted druid whose prophecies were always correct but never relevant. Foretold the invention of email, which scholars agree was a mixed blessing.
IV. The Age of Kings and the Coming of Christianity
Magadhán mac Gáire — “The Little Mocking One”
A contemporary of Patrick; credited with asking the saint whether purgatory could be declared a tax haven. Baptised in mead rather than water. Patrick, in despair, canonised him in absentia as “St Magadhán of the Regrettable Tongue.”
Eochaid an tSeanbhlaigeard — “Eochaid the Old Scoundrel”
Grandson of Magadhán. Claimed descent from both Finn and the Devil, depending on audience.
Invented the art of giving legal advice while drunk. His treatise De Iure Poitini survives only in fragmentary Latin: “Bibamus ergo, quia lex est.”
V. The Twilight of Pagan Ireland (8th–10th Centuries)
Murchadh an Mhíthuiscint — “Murchadh the Misunderstood”
A bard exiled for reciting an epic backward, allegedly “for structural reasons.” Founded the first School of Advanced Misinterpretation in Connacht, where Giles’s family still summer.
Fearghus an Fhíor-Amadán — “Fergus the True Fool”
A travelling poet-soldier who joined Brian Boru’s early campaigns, famously composing The Lay of the Lost Helmet. Described in the Annals of Inisfallen as “inebrius, sed iustus” (“drunk but fair-minded”).
Seachnall na nSearbh-Fhocal — “Seachnall of the Bitter Words”
A contemporary of the Viking age, famed for satirising the Norse to their faces until they paid him not to. He enriched the family coffers but impoverished Irish-Norse relations for centuries.
VI. The Line to Clontarf (11th Century)
Conall Mac Amadán — “Conall Son of the Fool” (fl. 1014)
Great-grandson of Fearghus. A skald of Brian Boru’s army at Clontarf, where he served in the “Department of Moral Support.” His Song of the Bloodied Tide was performed once and never again, as it caused melancholia in cattle.
He survived by hiding under his harp, later proclaiming himself “the Last Hero Standing.” Married Freydís Knútsdóttir, a Danish widow, and brought Norse sarcasm and practical accounting into the Gaelic repertoire — a union scholars regard as the true beginning of Irish modernity.
Issue:
Aodh mac Chonaill, founder of the later Gaelic line.
Bjorn O’Magadhlin, founder of the short-lived Norse-Irish cadet branch Magnæ-Línn, known mainly for raiding their own cattle.
VII. The Gaelic Lords and the High Kings’ Decline (11th–12th Centuries)
Aodh mac Chonaill — “Aodh an Eolach” (Aodh the Learned)
Composed the Annals of Misinterpretation, a chronicle of things that probably happened somewhere. Served as Ollamh (chief scholar) to the O’Connors of Connacht, a post roughly equivalent to “licensed liar.”
His descendants established themselves around Loch Eadoch
éadóc (modern Ballymagaleen),styling themselves Tighearnaí na Magadhlín — “Lords of the Mocking.”
Domhnall an Dá-Chluas — “Donald of the Two Ears”
So nicknamed for still possessing both after years of warfare. Signed the Treaty of Ceasefire and Cider (1102) with the O’Flahertys.
VIII. The Norman Encounter (12th–14th Centuries)
Séamus an Gáire — “James of the Laugh”
Met Strongbow’s emissaries at Wexford and promptly married one, Lady Aveline de Lacy, without papal sanction or much interest. The union produced the hybrid line de Maghalyn, who adopted Norman coats of arms but Gaelic spelling and debts.
Hugh fitz Séamus Maghalyn
Knighted at Dublin, 1210, for “services of uncertain value.” Built the first Cashelmagaleen, a motte- and-bailey later replaced by a bawn and then by disillusionment.
Tomas an Bháite — “Thomas the Drowned”
Perished while attempting to sell Galway Bay to the Normans “in lots.” His widow remarried thrice and founded the tradition of advantageous widowhood that persists in the clan to this day.
IX. The Gaelic Resurgence and the Parliament of Kilkenny (14th–15th
Centuries)
Fionnán mac Tomáis — “Fionnán of the Long Grudge”
Fought alternately for and against the O’Briens in the wars of succession. Captured once, released for being “too boring for ransom.” Held the Gaelic title Taoiseach na Magadhlín and the ecclesiastical office of Lay Impropriator of St Simon Stockholder’s Priory.
Seán an tSagart — “John the Priest”
Defrocked twice for selling indulgences wholesale. Sat in the Irish Parliament of Drogheda (1460), where he introduced a bill to tax hypocrisy — a motion that cleared the chamber. The Liber Beneficiorum of that era lists the family as “landed, loud, and largely illiterate.”
X. The Tudor Encroachment (16th Century)
Sir Ulick Maghaleen — “Uilleag an tAon-Leabhar” (Ulick of the One Book)
Converted to Anglicanism to retain his estates, explaining, “’Tis easier to change one’s creed than one’s tenants.” Knighted by Elizabeth I for lending her treasurer money at 100% interest, then outlawed by Hugh O’Neill for the same.
Created Baronet na Magaleen of Cashelmagaleen (1609) “for conspicuous inconsistency in the face of danger.”
Lady Fíona an tSoithigh — “Fíona of the Vessel”
His daughter eloped with an English customs officer and later poisoned him with bad claret, founding the French branch in Bordeaux.
XI. The Stuart and Cromwellian Wars (17th Century)
Colonel Dónal Dubh Maghaleen
Royalist during the Confederation Wars; fought at Drogheda, where he survived by hiding in the choir loft disguised as a Puritan. Exiled to France, joined the Irish Brigade, and married a Huguenot for tax purposes.
Created Comte de Moquerin by Louis XIV for “bringing confusion to the enemy, if not to the field.”
Sir Piers Maghaleen
Younger brother, converted to Puritanism during Cromwell’s campaign and served as Deputy Collector of Spoils and Grievances. Later re-converted to Rome on his deathbed when told there’d be wine. The family estates were confiscated, then returned, then taxed into oblivion.
XII. The Williamite Settlement and the Age of Unionism (18th Century)
Lord Fintan “The Improvident” na Magaleen
Changed sides at Aughrim so frequently that both armies began shooting elsewhere. Originally a Jacobite Baron of Maughleenstown, he became Baron Maughleenstown of the Williamite Creation(1692).
Accepted the Irish Peerage of Clangiles (1705) for services to confusion and helped found the Dublin Society for the Prevention of Clarity.
The Right Honourable Ulick “The Reliable” na Magaleen
MP for a rotten borough near Athlone. Advocated union with Britain as a means of uniting his debt swith theirs. Signed the Act of Union (1800) in triplicate, one for each of his mistresses.
Titles regularised as:
Earl of Clangiles (Jacobite Restoration creation, recognised post-Union)
Baron Maughleenstown (Williamite and Hanoverian creations merged)
Baronet na Magaleen of Cashelmagaleen (Reaffirmed by Act of Grace, 1801)
XIII. The Family Motto and Seal
The family crest evolved into: two English Pointers rampant argent and sable, supporting an Earl’s
coronet
. Motto: “Ridendo regimus insaniam.”
Through laughter, we govern madness.
XIV. The Union and Its Consequences (1801–1837)
Ulick “The Reliable” na Magaleen, 1st Earl of Clangiles (Restored)
Having signed the Act of Union three times — once for England, once for Ireland, and once by mistake for Portugal — Ulick was rewarded with a seat in the British House of Lords. Founded the Ballymagaleen Agricultural and Improvisational Society.
Died in 1821 when a decorative Corinthian column fell on him during Mass.
Lady Honoria na Magaleen (née Blenkinsop)
Widow and first of the Dowager Countesses of Clangiles to keep both her title and sanity.
Corresponded with Lord Byron and was rumoured to have introduced him to the concept of conscience.
XV. The Victorian Ascendancy (1837–1901)
Piers “The Compromised” na Magaleen, 2nd Earl of Clangiles
Educated at Trinity and Bedlam. Supported Catholic Emancipation provided it did not apply to Catholics. Authored the Magaleen Drainage Act (1848), which made the bog wetter. Founded the Society for the Suppression of Superfluous Vowels.
During the Famine, opened a soup kitchen in Dooley’s Pub, each bowl served with confession and a lecture on gratitude. Died in 1860 after falling asleep during his own obituary draft.
XVI. The Decline and Disillusionment (1860–1914)
Lord Fintan “The Rebuilder” na Magaleen, 3rd Earl of Clangiles
Returned from Oxford with debts and a mistress. Turned Cashelmagaleen House into a salon for poets and radicals. Patronised the Young Irelanders, though not financially. Hosted Oscar Wilde once, calling him “too sober for true wit.” Imprisoned briefly during the Fenian Uprising after mistaking a police raid for a costume party. Published A Genealogy of the Irish Aristocracy and Other Fairy Tales (1871), banned for accuracy.
The Countess Mabel na Magaleen (née Petrescu)
A Romanian pianist and spiritualist. Died during a séance, leaving rumours of bilingual ectoplasm.
XVII. The Twilight of Empire (1914–1922)
Colonel Ulick “The Moderate” na Magaleen, 4th Earl of Clangiles
Educated at Sandhurst and Borstal. Served with the Connaught Rangers in India and South Africa specialising in rapid retreats . During the Easter Rising declared
Ballymagaleen neutral “pending the opening of the pubs.” Both sides ignored him but drank his whiskey.
Later a Home Rule MP. Wrote: “Self-government is a splendid idea, provided it involves no actual Irishmen.”
XVIII. The Civil War and the End of an Era (1922–1923)
Sir Séamus “The Uncommitted” na Magaleen, Baronet of Cashelmagaleen
Declared himself Free Stater, Anti-Treatyite, then Canadian. Hosted both sides of the Civil War in turn. Cashelmagaleen House was shelled “by accident,” which Giles calls “the first architectural mercy killing in Irish history.”
Fled to Bordeaux, revived the Comte de Moquerin title, opened a short-lived cognac distillery, and returned in 1928 to find his land nationalised and his dogs promoted to Gardaí.
XIX. Epilogue: The House That Laughed Through History
By the time of the Irish Free State, the na Magaleens had lost their estates, seats, titles (officially), and sense of proportion (never).
Yet the lineage endures — in half-remembered toasts, confused parish registries, and the continued existence of Lord Giles na Magaleen, Ninth Earl by courtesy and First by audacity.
“We survived kings, popes, planters, Cromwell, and landlords,” Giles writes,
“because we never stopped finding the whole affair ridiculous.”