Ballymagaleen: Ireland’s Least Reasonable Village
Ballymagaleen: Ireland’s Least Reasonable VillageBallymagaleen: Ireland’s Least Reasonable VillageBallymagaleen: Ireland’s Least Reasonable Village
Ballymagaleen: Ireland’s Least Reasonable Village
About Ballymagaleen
Like a finger scratching the arse of Ireland
Nestled between the bogs of Connacht and the restless Atlantic, Ballymagaleen is a peninsula unlike any other — a small, windswept corner of Ireland where history, heresy, and hilarity coexist in uneasy peace. It is the ancestral home of Lord Giles na Magaleen, Ninth Earl of Clangiles (by courtesy, never by consensus), whose family has governed the region’s laughter for a thousand years.
The People
Ballymagaleen’s residents are a distinguished assembly of characters:
- Lord Giles na Magaleen, philosopher, philologist, and hereditary nuisance.
- Fr. Sebastian and Rev. Cassandra O’Rea, a married pair of clerics whose faith and wardrobes frequently overlap.
- Miss Sarah O’Leany, the schoolmistress of St Príomhsheans for All Abilities and None.
- Shebeena Dooley, publican, poet, and unofficial therapist.
- Sgt. Gombeeni, the village’s sole Garda, expert in selective enforcement.
Together they maintain a delicate equilibrium of mischief, morality, and mead.
The Sights
Ballymagaleen offers three historic drinking establishments of spiritual importance:
- The Gurrirer’s Arms, a lamentable “authentic Irish” pub frequented by the gullible.
- The Norman Conquistador, serving Irish–Mexican fusion and cocktails of diplomatic complexity.
- Dooley’s, the true cultural heart of the village, where poets and philosophers nurse pints and grievances alike.
You’ll also find:
- The Holy Well of St Pierian, famed for curing ignorance (though local trials remain inconclusive).
- The Ruins of St Simon Stockholder’s Priory, once a place of prayer, now a refuge for poets and lost dogs.
- A Garda Barracks, occupied part-time and functioning mostly as a listening post.
The History
Founded in an era when miracles were currency, Ballymagaleen grew around Cashelmagaleen House, seat of the na Magaleen family. From druids and poets to peers and pranksters, the line has survived conquest, Cromwell, and common sense. The Genealogia na Magadhlin records their exploits, proving that laughter, not lineage, is the true mark of nobility.
The Topology
The Ballymagaleen Peninsula curls into the Atlantic like a question mark. To the north lie peat hills and ill-considered marriages; to the south, rocky coves where seals gather to pass judgement. A single road winds past the twin churches (identically dedicated, oppositely managed) and the village school, before ending at Cashelmagaleen House — where Lord Giles contemplates the infinite, assisted by whiskey, dogs, and poor reception.
Visit Ballymagaleen
Population: fluctuating
Elevation: disputed
Reputation: indestructible
Motto: Ridendo Regimus Insaniam — Through laughter, we govern madness.